Two things alerted me to the fact the party was well and truely over. Firstly, the walk around the block at 5.30 this morning. Holy crap - was it always that far??? Or that hilly???? I think not, but then it has been a while and I am another year older so it is possible my memory is playing tricks on me.
The second thing was jumping on Roger and hearing his nasty spiteful little voice saying ugly numbers. Again, my memory could be playing tricks on me but I am fairly sure I was no where near that number even when heavily pregnant with my third child. This can only mean one of two things - while we have been on holiday, aliens have visited, changed the landscape around our neighborhood and anally probed Roger making him read wrong OR (and this is a wild wild idea I know...) I have put on rather a lot of weight during the course of eating and drinking WHATEVER I want WHENEVER I want over the last two weeks AND my lack of walking or going to the gym during that time has seen me lose fitness - making even a stroll around the block a bit of a challenge. I know what you're thinking - she's talking crazy shit with that second one - but hey, I had to throw it out there.
I'm more inclined to think it was alien lifeforms myself. It would certainly be my preference for that to be the case - I mean how else am I going to get over the loss of my beloved visitors and the return to day to day life but comfort eating and copious amounts of alcohol? So yeah, I'm going with the aliens on this one and we'll see what Roger's got to say in a week or two's time when hopefully he will be back to his normal self.
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