What to Wear?

Anyone who thinks getting dressed for work in the mornings is easy is obviously not a voluptuous, boldly but beautifully tattooed creative creature with an artists soul, working in a fairly conservative corporate environment. Now don't get me wrong, I love my work with a passion, but dressing for it appropriately given the other more bohemian side of my nature does prove a challenge. Firstly, I have to find clothing that won't freak the corporate squares out, (bearing in mind these are the people that consider feather earrings "out there", this is no easy task) Then it has to have enough personality to satisfy the artist in me AND enough elastic to fit me through at least three different variations of "voluptuousness". In spite of most of the shops tailoring to plank like 12 year old bodies, I have managed to put together a reasonable arsenal of black or grey items that meet the required criteria, now it is just a matter of putting it all together. This is trickier still.

I have found that starting from the bottom and working my way up is usually the best approach. At this stage, the most important considerations are the weather (I do so hate to be too cold or too hot, I am a Princess after all...) and where I am "at". For example, pre-menstrual (elastic is my friend), menstrual (NO BASTARD is my friend - it is about this time of the month that Scott starts referring to me as The Demoness Lilith - Queen of the Undead) or post-menstrual (all is well with the world and I feel positively twig like). Having taken all of that into account and selected an appropriate piece of clothing, I move on to the top half. This may or may not contain some traces of colour and will most likely consist of several layers to account for changes in the weather or mood or both. Add a belt - easy, only two to choose from, the others have shrunk...boots or shoes (a big decision and often a stumbling point) and finally jewellery and by jove, I've done it again, dressed myself for work in under an hour and a half. I know. Impressive. And no doubt why I'm so happy to stay in my jim jams until one in the afternoon on the weekends...