Much as it pains Scott to admit it, his eyesight is getting progressively worse. It’s been apparent for some time that his arms are no longer sufficient in length to give him the distance required to read text smaller than that used on your average billboard … but the really telling moment was when, during one of his famous (and typical) anti fly/bug rampages, he repeatedly sprayed the black drawing pin used to hold up one of last years Christmas decorations, and couldn’t understand why this particular fly wouldn’t die.
This is not the first incident we’ve had involving Scott’s eyesight and bug killing. Another fairly famous family story involves him aggressively attacking a rather long ant trail across the outside of our house. He sprayed in his usual robust fashion - I mean, why kill them with a few small squirts when you can use enough to drop a small bull elephant instead... so much more entertaining. He likes nothing better than a fast acting fly spray so watches closely for what he hopes will be a lightening result. As if the poor little blighters could stand up to those volumes for long...he's all set to let rip with his second round of spraying when he notices they are dropping off after only one (albiet heavy handed) round. He was suitably impressed and wondered about this new brand of fly spray I had bought. Before his eyes could focus clearly on the label, he noticed the paint bubbling on the side of the house…about the same time his eyes finally focused enough for him to make out the label on the can which said “Oven Cleaner”. Oh well he reasoned, the house was due for a repaint anyway, and we sure showed those pesky ants...
This is not the first incident we’ve had involving Scott’s eyesight and bug killing. Another fairly famous family story involves him aggressively attacking a rather long ant trail across the outside of our house. He sprayed in his usual robust fashion - I mean, why kill them with a few small squirts when you can use enough to drop a small bull elephant instead... so much more entertaining. He likes nothing better than a fast acting fly spray so watches closely for what he hopes will be a lightening result. As if the poor little blighters could stand up to those volumes for long...he's all set to let rip with his second round of spraying when he notices they are dropping off after only one (albiet heavy handed) round. He was suitably impressed and wondered about this new brand of fly spray I had bought. Before his eyes could focus clearly on the label, he noticed the paint bubbling on the side of the house…about the same time his eyes finally focused enough for him to make out the label on the can which said “Oven Cleaner”. Oh well he reasoned, the house was due for a repaint anyway, and we sure showed those pesky ants...
Now you would think that that would be the sort of mistake that you would make only once. Alas no. It was not long after that that he was found to be spraying our bedroom for mossies.
With Oven Cleaner.
Again.
The high pitched scream I let out stopped him in his tracks but not before he’d given the air above the new armchair and duvet cover in our room a reasonable dosing. Thankfully I’d got to him early and before his second pass at the room with his finger firmly pressed on the nozzle, as is his usual habit. A quick sponge down of the chair and a laundering of the duvet cover managed to save the day. Well, at the very least the holes didn't appear in the fabric till at least a few months later...
So yes, there are obvious dangers involved with him not being able to see and read everything clearly. The upside however, is that I’m forever 25 in his eyes. As such he is strictly forbidden from getting permanent glasses… as far as I'm concerned, bubbling paint and replacing the odd bit of soft furnishing is a small price to pay for remaining 25 in the eyes of your beloved…
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